ONANI 15 : THE LIST

This is a list of seemingly random stuff. SEEMINGLY. :0

1. Shufflin
2. Anything from Mac
3. Guitar
4. Base
5. Indie
6. Clubs
7. Rimms
8. SLR cameras
9. Futsal
10. Sex
11. Facebook
12. Concerts
13. Friends
14. Best friends
15. Perfume
16. Cats
17. Video CDs
18. High school
19. University
20. Gothic
21. Emo
22. Birthdays
23. Travel
24. Architecture
25. Gym
26. Singlets
27. Suits
28. Cufflings
29. Sling bag
30. Future
31. K-pop
32. Youtube
33. Theater
34. Models
35. Teenagers
36. Couples
37. Charity
38. Acai
39. Snow cap
40. Blogs
41. Memory
42. Gifts
43. Graduation
44. Pictures
45. jobs
46. Bike
47. Cars (non-kancil ones)
48. Regret
49. Interact
50. Money

ONANI 14 : HOLLYWOOD MY ASS

Stating the obvious = almost all cool, romantic, heart pounding, heart stopping scenarios in Hollywood movies are all bulcrap. In fact, they turn out to be quite the opposite in real life. Suddenly had a recollection of events i personally went thru myself that was supposed to turn out exactly like a Hollywood scene but ends up getting ripped apart by reality.

1. Hitting(ngorat) on a girl in a restaurant with witty humor then getting laid:

HOLLYWOOD = Downey Jr, Affleck, that Hugh Grant guy does this without fail.

REALITY = A cute Secret Recipe waitress asked if she could take my empty plate. I said she could take my heart too if she wanted....I guess having her stare at me in bewilderment with a sliver of fear in her eyes is better than getting a sexual harrasment suit up my ass.


2. When a car is sent flying it lands perfectly back on the road with cool sparks shooting beneath the vehicle.

HOLLYWOOD = Available in almost every movie that has a car chase scene in it, usually the one's involving tough NY cops.

REALITY = my Perodua Kancil melambung di depan pejabat pos pusat bandar Shah Alam due to poor road conditions. no sparks and cool landings. Just a humiliating 50m walk from my car towards where the rim cap terpelanting to collect the detached piece.


3. Dramatic come back in sports despite unbelievable odds (coupled with inspirational music).

HOLLYWOOD = Mighty Ducks, Rocky, Goal 1 & 2, u name it. From poverty to riches, from a 1000 points down to extra time victories, from relegation to legendary glories!

REALITY = Joined a futsal tournament representing my office against other companies. Got our ass kicked in the group stages, won only one match and got thrashed 6-1 by members of a sewage company that participated under the humiliation inducing name of Sisa Pepejal! And the inspirational music? Yeah, The futsal center was playing a marathon of Justin Bieber songs...

ONANI 13 : END OF A LIFE

Tonight is my second night staying overnight with grampa at the hospital. He has stage 3 cancer and is undergoing treatment, fighting tooth and nail to win this battle which doctors estimate would end after a year or so.. not in my grampa's favor...

Moving on, add these 2 nights to the numerous times i've visited this hospital, it becomes a regular thing to see people, family, lovers, slumped on the floor. Crying in anguish upon realization that most likely a loved one has passed or will unavoidably be taking his or her leave from this world...

Which got me thinking for a split second as i walked towards ward 14 where my grampa is at. I asked myself..

"I wonder when would my turn come to cry?"
"Would i cry as bad as some of them?"
"or would life just pass as if nothing happened?"
"Would someone cry for me too if i passed?"

It didn't help that barely a few weeks ago me and my buddies had just lost one of our dearest lecturers who seemed to be in the best of health, to a heart attack if i was told right. My last conversation with him ended with us promising to go out for a drink next time we meet.

.....next time we meet. not even an 'if' in the sentence. Such confidence we have in avoiding death that we don't realize it but we think and speak like immortals every time. Ignoring the fact that we are so small and just from a snap of a finger from fate or God himself, we're done.. Literally like a candle in the wind. It just takes one lousy gust and that's it. Lights out. All the things we worked for, loved for, lived for, all comes to nothing. Abruptly ending, so easily, yet we don't even take notice of the possibility..

And what's worse is we continue to sin despite all the possibilities. Despite the fragility of our existence we continue to recklessly live like there's always a tomorrow. Am no saint myself so i'll have to admit that as much as i can i hope to keep in mind this feeling of awareness, that death is always around the corner. In hopes i might live better.

Life is indeed a journey to be celebrated, but death also deserves to be remembered, for it would shape the kind of journey you take, to that final destination at heaven or hell's gate.

ONANI 12 : DYING TO DREAM

Disebabkan bosan di office, i usually get inspired to write crap. This post is one of those moments. Tetiba terfikir bout all the nightmares i've had for as long as i've lived. Come to think of it i've died so many times in my own mind. So i thought it might be interesting to list down all the bizarre nightmares i've had and the cool ways i've died (in the nightmares of course)! =

1. MOUNTAIN RHINO : Was hiking up a mountain with a bunch of strangers, then heard a loud, spine-chilling, bellowing sound coming out of a cave at the edge of a field on that misty mountain. Without warning a disfigured/mutated rhino the size of a bus came out of no where and crashed into my sorry self. Pastu terbangun! :0

2. HUNTED ZOMBIE HUNTERS : Sedang berkampung di dalam rumah buruk, armed with M-16s, fighting our asses through a horde of zombies (pengaruh main Left For Dead lama2 obviously). Miraculously me and the few survivors managed to hold them off, but then the unthinkable happened! Just when we thought the military came to rescue us, they came in and started shooting us dead one by one for suspicion that we might have been infected! I was the last one to be shot, in the head, then terbangun. :0

3. SUBMARINE SIEGE : Sedar2 dalam mimpi ni i was helping people evacuate a huge abandoned harbor at some war torn tropical island in the middle of the night. Men, women and children were screaming everywhere! All desperately trying to flee the harbor thru a hole in a fence. As i was helping a woman get thru the fence i noticed something in the water emerging! Rupanya it was huge assed submarine we were running away from ! As i took my turn to get thru the fence, the sub launched a missile strike right where i was and there was only a loud, eerie explosion and bright lights before i terjaga! :0

4. SURVIVAL GAME : Me and about 10 other strangers were inside an abandoned mansion on a small island slightly larger than the mansion. Weapons of all kinds were scattered all over the perimeter. Somehow in my head, i already knew what was gonna happen! My heart was pounding as my eyes were frantically selecting the nearest and best weapon to grab, for i'm in a survival game! Last man standing leaves the island! As a siren wails, the game begins! I got down and grabbed an AK-47, gunned down 2 strangers then hid in one of the mansion's rooms before i was done in with a sneak attack and a shuriken to the chest! Then terjaga. :0

5. SILENT CHAOS : A short dream but super memorable due to it's unbelievable happenings and eerie silence! I was on a bus with Adam Johnston, a friend of mine. We got down the bus then we realized from the horizon that all vehicles on the road were being flung in the air and everything around it started exploding and disintegrating! The tsunami of debris and vehicles just came slamming into us! And all this was happening in slow motion and without a single noise! :0

6. MAD IMMORTAL : Before i realized it, i was a patient in a hospital that's being quarantined by the military for some kinda outbreak (yep, pengaruh movie lagi). Anyways, i found myself sneaking around to find a way out of the hospital coz a fellow patient who seems to be nuts was constantly trying to stab me with one of those surgical knives! I found my way out thru the basement and the creep was still after me! I ran across the city (which i was unfamiliar with and strangely empty) with the lunatic still behind my tail! So i stole a car and drove as far as i can and stopped at a Caltex station to refuel. While refueling, to my horror the psycho was there! Still following me! In a fit of rage i grabbed a fire extinguisher and started bashing his brains out till he lay in a pool of blood on the tar. But then he got back up, face deformed and all and proceeded to stab me in the end. Terjaga! :0

7. BAD 'DECISION' MAN : For some odd reason, i was dressed up like Batman, and was standing at the ledge of a roof top of some unknown skyscraper. I can't tell how high it was since it was already piercing thru clouds so you can bet your ass it was high enough!! So here i was, spreading my bat cape, all ready to fly it seems. I hopped off the ledge and dully fell to my death. Tersentak and terjaga (like any person would when the dream ends in falling).

8. MUD HOTEL : A trip with all my university mates to a spectacular resort hanging at the top of a hill slope with marvelous panoramic views doesn't seem so bad rite? Wait till u read about the ending! So me and the guys were just chillin, having drinks by the cantilevered balcony till a huge rumble from higher up the mountain caused a quake that quickly sent everyone into a state of panic! As we were all running around frantically to get to safety, to our horror the resort went black under the shadow of what appears to be a huge mud slide crashing down on us from a top the mountain! The sick feeling of haplessly watching friends get swept away by the violent rush was quickly ended when a boulder ended my life. Terjaga and was visibly shaken for a few minutes. :0

9. THE BRIDGE : For reasons unknown, i was standing a top a huge skateboard ramp with roller blades fastened to my feet. Catch is, the ramp was set at the edge of the Penang Bridge! It was night and reporters were gathered around the ramp, taking pictures of me, waiting excitedly for me to make my move down the ramp as if i'm Tony Hawk on tour or something. So i did, and accidentally flew off the ramp under the speed and momentum i was going at and before i knew it, i was falling off the bridge! The panicked screams of the onlookers were the last thing i heard as i splashed into my watery grave. Tersentak, terjaga but no worries, tak terkencing pon eventhough the dream involved falling in water! ;)

10. SICK WHEEL : Probably the most mysterious dream i've EVER had. And i've had it multiple times! Each time i fall sick or anything like that i'll have this nightmare! I'll be sitting on a long bridge. The bridge is in a huge empty room without floors (that's why u need the bridge that connects between two walls across the room). Then out of no where a huge wheel the size of an average carnival ferris wheel would appear on the bridge and roll towards my direction! I have no way of going around it as the wheel is just as wide as the bridge and behind me is just a wall! So i wait agonizingly as the wheel draws closer before crushing me to death! Then terjaga and badan masih panas sebab demam. (+_+)

Okay, i spooked myself out tak pasal2 now. That's all folks! :0

ONANI 11 : SIMPLE MAN

Simple man, simple man,
While far from being a handsome rich man,
The simple things life places in my hands,
Still satisfies me 8 out of 10.

Simple man, simple man,
Though i dream of morphing into an ultraman,
Being my simple measly self ain't too bad in the end,
For i try and live my life the best way i can.

Simple man, simple man,
Dunno much bout clothes, blings or even brands,
So fashion advices i don't really give to friends,
For i only wear pagodas and anything out of trend.

Simple man, simple man,
Bikes and cars for hundreds of grands,
Count me out coz i'm not such a fan,
If it moves it's enough even if it's a van.

Simple man, simple man,
Young lovers as many as all grains of sand,
Some pretty some ugly and some second hand,
I settle for as little as one loyal girlfriend.

Simple man, simple man,
Genies don't exist to make our wishes his command,
But i have friends and family who'd always help me stand,
So here i am contented again though life isn't that grand.

....I still hope to morph into an Ultraman someday though.

ONANI 10 : IS IT REALLY GREENER ?

Humans are fascinating. Each individual is a different story. Unique, different. Yet we share so many things in common as a species. We can be primal and simple, yet complex and sophisticated. Fascinating.

But of the various traits and qualities that makes us human, i would like to single out one for this particular blog post. A human trait that i just recently noticed after a certain conversation with my little brother.

The human tendency to 'OVERRATE ANOTHER'S HAPPINESS'. Where we seem to constantly believe that the 'GRASS IS INDEED GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE'. But is it really?

First up, me and my brother were just having casual talk about how he's been doing in university. Studies, love life, and a few bulshits in between. Soon he was going on about how down he feels lately, that things are not really working out as planned. Being the typical middle son that he is, yeah, he does more than often get into trouble with parents, lecturers, friends, etc.

He goes on explaining to me that he doesn't get why some of his friends long to be in his position, that they assume he has everything in life going for him and would rather be in my brother's shoes at any given time. All the rave just because he scored straight A's for his PMR examinations. The assumption that my brother leads a life of priveledge and success has stuck ever since.

My brother however, understands the assumptions he is being subjected to though. He admits that even he would long to be in the position of a top scorer had he not done well for his examinations. In the end you'd never know how it is to be in another's shoes, but being human, i guess we naturally assume that being someone else (who appears to have more) will always be better than being plain old us.

If we could somehow switch the minds between two comparing individuals, to experience what the other has been through, i'm pretty sure both sides would agree that the grass on the other side is not as green as it initially seemed to be, once you are on the other side yourself! I mean yeah he scored higher in exams, sure she has the hottest boy friend, damn that dude is filthy rich, god that chick has a cool ride, man i want that lap top too, etc. But the people who have all that, are they without their own problems? by having all those earthly indulgences, do they feel an ultimate sense of satisfaction? Do they crave for no more in life because that's mission accomplished to them? Perfection achived? You know the answers yourself.

The reason why we see the person next to us sleeping in a bed of roses is because we put that image there ourselves while completely ignoring the hundreds and thousands of thorns that come with those flowers. Believe me when i say no matter how priveledged a person's life seems to be, it's actually no different than what we go through everyday. Though the scale might differ in the sense that a seemingly better life has it's own equal and opposite reaction, the reality maintains that not a single life is PERFECT.

So the question now is why? Why do humans persistently lock themselves in the illusion that the grass is always greener on the other side? My humble theory is that by assuming our colleague is having it better, jealousy starts fueling our engine of competitiveness, thus motivating us to strive for an improved condition of life. This ultimately ensures the progression and continuity of our growth as a species!

....or we could just be thankful with what we have while trying our best to be the best we can in life, to gracefully accept whatever outcome God has in store for us after all our efforts and deeds? ....nah, who does that these days right?

ONANI 9 : UTUSAN

Before i begin this latest blog post let me make a few things clear :

1. I am fully aware the government has cyber police to probably view this blog of mine, which is good since i hope this could be a constructive 'utusan' to our leaders.

2. I also acknowledge the current administration to be the most capable in leading Malaysia towards vision 2020! The current pool of opposition politicians just don't convince me enough.

3. However, this post of mine will be centered on my displeasure on one of the main topics of the 2011 budget, specifically, the RM5 billion Menara Warisan project.

Do not misunderstand, i do believe such a mega project could contribute positively towards the development of our country, but i'm more concerned with the prioritizing our leaders make when dishing out funds for developments. It is not a mystery that our beloved country has a mountain of unresolved issues that is in dire need of attention. I personally think we should learn how to crawl and walk first before even thinking of doing a 100m sprint ala Usain Bolt down the tracks.

Here are some other agendas, in my humble opinion, should instead deserve top priority in terms of attention and funding(all RM5 billion of it) from the authorities.

1. PUBLIC TRANSPORT = Where shall i begin? lets see... duh! KTM obviously. It leaks when it rains, 15 minutes late is a blessing(a train was late for 4 hours at one point when i was using it), it is never on schedule, there are never enough seats, never enough trains, the aircond regularly breaks down so u can smell the sweet aroma of arm pits from all races including the illegals who regularly commute with it, a train was tilting for a good 15-20 degrees at the Putra Station where the tracks are never maintained(disaster waiting to happen obviously),etc. The only good public transport we have is the LRT and it only circles around KL. Buses don't even reach most parts of Shah Alam while Putrajaya and Cyberjaya are obviously disconnected. Am not even getting started on public transport out of Klang Valley yet! So yeah, even a measly amount from the RM5 billion could do wonders in turning the situation over and provide us with more respectable public transport that would do our people and the country's image a lot of good!

2. ECO TOURISM = I am not about to suggest we have more 5 star hotels or infrastructure or anything down that line. My concern is more to maintaining the beauty this country is already blessed with. I'm talking about keeping our natural tourist spots and attractions clean. This might sound like a small matter but think about the implications. Countries like Maldives, Seychelles, Mauritius, etc, they generate whole economies by simply keeping their country clean and beautiful. And quite frankly, the cleanliness of our beaches is quite pitiful. I went to Port Dickson the other day and i just couldn't believe my eyes. Brown waters with shit in it and on the beach? you see rusted Milo cans more than you see sea shells? boat oil, plastic bags, polystyrene combine to form an unflattering texture that replaces white sandy shores? talk about a picture of a failed tourism poster. And that's rapidly becoming the same scenario for beaches all over the country. I suggest setting up a nationwide committee to directly supervise and manage the set location's cleanliness with rule enforcing and routine clean ups. With RM5 billion in the pot, we surely can!

3. EXISTING INFRASTRUCTURE = Okay, before we go about building yet another world class infrastructure for this country, it's only natural to look back at the current facilities we already posses as some sort of a case study if you like. Being in the construction business myself, a glaring problem is easily spotted here. MAINTENANCE! Istana Budaya, Museum Negara, roof tiles missing with walls overrun with moss. That doesn't even compare to the Mecca of all Malaysian moss that is Stadium Shah Alam, with it's mosaic of broken polycarbonate roof panels and absolutely filthy interior to boot. Should i even begin to point out the lack of sanitary services at our very own National Stadium in Bukit Jalil or the termite infested timber seats of Malacca's Stadium Hang Tuah? Almost all LRT stations around KL are either filthy as a rat's ass while most buildings and pavers in Putrajaya are already experiencing cracking and cladding deterioration with most of them barely existing for a mere 5 years! Until we take a serious stand in maintaining whatever architectural marvel we posses, i don't see the point in having a 100 storey wreck hanging in our city's skyline.

So there you have it. I am fully aware that i am no politician, and definitely not one that is most enlightened when it comes to developing a developing country. But here are thoughts to ponder on from a person sincerely wanting the best for his beloved country. Progressing is good, but maybe prioritizing what we develop, or maintain, could be just as vital. Thanks for your time members of the government (if u actually read this la).